Trying to conceive: when to get help

The usual advice is to ask for help after 1 year of trying, but there are exceptions. Age, irregular periods, known fertility problems and finding it hard to have sex can all be reasons to talk sooner. You can ask about these before you reach a time limit.

What counts as regular trying

If you’re trying through vaginal sex, the NHS suggests sex without contraception every 2 to 3 days. This way you don’t need to find an exact ovulation day. Talk about what feels manageable for you, including if it’s hard to keep to that timing.

The timings below are for people trying through sex. Other routes to becoming a parent may need a different approach. WHO recognises that people who are single, in same-sex relationships or who need fertility care for medical reasons may need services too. If you need donor sperm or another kind of support, ask a clinician about planning care from the start.

UK and US timings are different

Where the advice comes from	When to discuss assessment
NHS general advice	After 1 year of trying through sex. Sooner if you are 36 or over or have a reason to be concerned.
CDC: woman under 35 years old, with regular periods and no known concerns	After one year of trying.
CDC: woman 35 years or older, with regular periods and no known concerns	After 6 months of trying.
CDC: woman older than 40	Think about getting checked sooner.

NHS pages also put the advice in different ways. Its general infertility page says to get help sooner if you’re 36 or over. Its low-sperm-count page says 6 months if the partner trying to get pregnant is 36 or over. Ask your GP when to be referred. You don’t have to wait those months before raising a worry.

WHO’s definition of infertility uses 12 months or more of regular sex without contraception. You can still get checked earlier if that’s advised because of your age or medical history.

Reasons to ask sooner

Book a GP appointment in the UK, or see your doctor in the US or elsewhere, if your periods have stopped or are irregular. Do the same if you’ve had endometriosis, very painful periods or pelvic inflammatory disease (an infection of the womb, tubes or ovaries). CDC advice says these are reasons not to delay getting checked while trying.

Mention any past testicle injury, chemotherapy or fertility problems with another partner too. The NHS also advises talking about a known low sperm count and any difficulty having sex. Talking sooner gives you the chance to raise these worries.

What the first checks may involve

A check starts with questions about your medical and sexual history. If you’re trying with a partner, both histories matter. The clinician may ask about past pregnancies, medicines, past infections and how long you’ve been trying. Bring what you know, and say where dates are rough.

The tests you’re offered depend on your situation. A semen analysis looks at how many sperm there are, how they move and their shape. A progesterone blood test can help show whether you’ve ovulated. Its timing is based on your periods. Other checks may look at the womb or whether the fallopian tubes are open.

Ask what each test is looking for, how to prepare and who will explain the results. A useful last question is: “If this doesn’t explain the delay, what happens next?”

Leave with a next step

A check doesn’t commit you to any treatment. CDC guidance says decisions about care take into account what treatment you’d prefer. They also consider your age, the cause and how long you’ve had problems. Ask about your options and take the time you need to talk them through.

Before you leave, write down whether you’re waiting for a test, a follow-up appointment or a referral. Ask who to contact if you haven’t heard back. Raise any worries you haven’t had a chance to talk about yet.